Merry Christmas!

Last year's Christmas, I was working.

This year's Christmas, I was working, but I was decked out... and I was laughing it out.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Gluttony For Punishment?

I was watching reruns of Friends when someone YM me. It was a rainy afternoon and I just finished doing my laundry and it was a Sunday, so I was surprised when I saw an acquaintance that I have not heard from for quite a while on my screen.

I knew this woman when I was dating one of my many exes, once upon a time ago. I was on and off in contact with her and though I 'tried' to keep in touch, we eventually lost touch again.

The last time we got through to each other was when she called me.This was a long time ago.

Everytime we got in touch with each other, the discussion always got to discussing about her relationships. The last time she was in one with a foreigner, she informed me that the man physically abused her. I told her to get out of it. She told me that for some reason, she could not and that it was difficult for her to do that because she was in love with the shameless man.

I backed down because I have never been in that kind of situation. I wouldn't know how I would react if I am in one. I have been lucky thus far, the men that I have been with never raised a hand on me. I don't know if it was because I was not worth that much for them to do so.

I have never cared about them anyway.

So we got to chatting a bit. I asked how she was doing and vice versa. She asked if I am married. I said 'HELL NO' and told her that I am much happier single and not thinking about problematic men. I am also concentrating on my career and I don't give a rat's ass about dating.

I asked her how she was doing. She said that she is now in a relationship, with another foreigner, who is cheating on her. She said she found out a lot of things she shouldn't have found out and although she is so called in a relationship, it didn't feel like it.

I asked her why is she in the relationship if it is fucked up and worthless. I told her to just stop being in it and just hang out more with friends. It is better that way, and leave things to its' course.

To me, I told her, things will happen when it does. No point staying in a relationship that won't work. I was talking from experience.

She, in turn told me that she doesn't have friends who would help her, and I honestly don't know how is that possible.

I don't have many friends, but I am lucky enough to have a few that I really treasure and whom I know would have my back whenever I need help.

She also asked me if I club nowadays, I said no, and promptly elaborated my answer saying that 'I grew out of that phase.'

I think she is older than I am, but I couldn't remember and we have never been close enough for me to know any kind of details about her.

Sometimes I do think that it might be true that most women are gluttons for punishment.

Why do most of us get stuck in the same ol' shit over and over again without making a change is for now, beyond me. I hope I would never get to find out, or be in those kinds of situations ever.

I found myself, irritated and annoyed by this woman's explanation. The excuses that she gave me that never seemed to change. She still sounds needy like the first time I met her. I guess this feeling also comes up from the fact that she only pops up once in a while, and instantly takes me as her punching bag, telling me the same kind of things, only the people in it seemed to change.

I ended the conversation. The question has been lingering in my head for a few hours since then.

If most women are indeed, gluttons for punishment, I hope I am not one of them.

So, I leave you lovely capable, extraordinary women out there with this. I think it is empowering.

Superwoman

Sometime in the past, I was jumping from one relationship to another.

I am reminded of that when I went through my blog.

I started this blog back in 2007. In actuality, I have blogged longer than I that. my first two blogs, I shut down because I was 'grieving' after my so called relationships with a couple of fucktards didn't work out.

Of course, back then, I sort of figured that I am a fuck-tard myself.

I also realized that when you really actually have nothing to say, people flock to your blog. My entries were simple, I was (Still is) an exhibitionist and my posts were simply, posts that didn't make any kind of sense at all.

Then again, which blog actually has any kind of sense in them anyway?

I also decided to drop by Izso's blog. Since he became a father, his postings have become shorter and shorter. His most current post lamented on how writing used to be so much fun.

Back then when people just have good things to say, or criticism that's conveyed with tack and civility. This brand of readers and bloggers are becoming harder and harder to come by.

I used to be able to post nearly 20 posts a month, now, well, I'd consider it productive if I actually managed to come up with 7 per month. Of course, back then, I have free unrestricted (Except to Porn sites) internet access in the office and loads of time on my hands.

Now, well, the main reason would be that I am a workaholic who works more than 40 hours per week, more interested in finishing my work rather than using the internet and writing blogs.

The urge to prove to myself and also to my bosses that I am every bit capable to handle everything that's thrown my way supercedes my love for writing, at the moment.

And to be honest, another reason would also be that now, I only want to write about other things of lesser importance just because I don't want to be thinking about anything too seriously.

I am not trying to be a superwoman. I don't think I can, but I do think that I am somewhat a formidable force when it comes to work and career. Not easy to manage 20 people and I know other people who have managed more than 300 people in a single division.

I am thinking if they can do it, I can do it most definitely.

I will just have to resist the temptation to bang my head against the wall. Good thing my office doesn't have windows... I am on the 16th floor afterall.

Hey... I actually came up with an entry! Sweet!

The Fact Is ... I am thankful

I am somewhat wondering what I am doing alone.

When I can do almost everything myself, I am still wondering, why am I alone?

Strange huh?

But the fact remains, I am thankful that I am still here, facing all  the obstacles on my own with the support of close friends and family, who loves me regardless.
--
My weekend was hectic.

Believe me if I can split myself to three people, I would.

I would just so I would be able to spend time with my family, my friends and myself.

When I got home, I was stumped when my bed is no longer there. My Sister just bought a new apartment unit and my parents and brother is moving in with her. My parents are taking over my bed and being that I am now a permanent resident of Kay Hell, I will have to rethink about buying a property in JB and would probably buy one in KL instead.

I would not be having my own room anymore, in JB that is. Which kind of means that I can't sleep naked anymore.

Sigh... but hey, I am happy for my sister.

My cousin, finished his Quran studies last weekend, so in an orderly fashion of a Johorean, we had a 'Khatam Quran' for him.

Annd... he is also going to be circumsized next week.

I remembered the last time my brother had to go through the same thing. I remembered him screaming his lungs out when my parents brought him back to the house.

I was laughing. I told him he was a wuss.

He is still a wuss.. ehehehe...

It's always fun when the whole family comes together. As you just can see from these pictures.

Okay this one is not a family member in a techical kind of way, but it is a part of the family (For now, before it becomes the one the family is going to have for dinner), but it was sitting there so calmly looking after its' eggs that I feel inclined to take a photo.

Last Thursday was Thanksgiving.

The whole AMEX team, which is MY team now got together at Christina's house for a housewarming (She just moved to a new place), which was also a double celebration as her daughter recently passed her UPSR with flying colors.

It was a great makan session and since it is potluck, Joyce, Kish and me decided to roast a chicken, not a turkey because it's just not possible for us to roast one in the tiny oven.

This Eid and Thanksgiving, I would like give my thanks to everyone who is around me now, my family, my friends, my good friends, my best friends (Dropped not included) and my very supportive and professional colleagues.

Thank You.

Good things comes to those who wait...

Well, my Dad always said to me that if you are patient, and let things takes its' due course, I will see that things will kind of... go my way.

Of course, back then being brash, immature and well... stupid, in the lack of a proper word to replace my then questionable level of intellect, I don't really believe in it.

I was gung-ho and proactive, the latter in a sort of wrong kind of way. I believed that if I keep on moving and catch every opportunity that comes my way, I will get what I want.

Little did I know, that trying to outrun someone was not the way. If you rush, you tend to overlook a lot of things, and if you think too much about 'making it', you might not 'make it' at all.

But no matter how impatient I was, I have never, thankfully, tried to push someone off by being a two face hypocrite. I can never be 'friend friend' with someone with ulterior motives. Motives such as trying to kick someone off their rice bowl or anything like that. I have, always been genuine in my intentions. I helped people because I mean it.

I would NEVER help anyone if I don't want to.

I figured, why make things complicated. There is no reason why you should help someone if you don't wanna.

Anyway, I recently received a big pat in the back, something that I was not expecting but something that kind of just happened. I was in the beginning, sad because in the process, I lost my mentor. But technically, he is still with me, though not quite within the same place anymore. I was also shocked when I found out about certain things that happened behind my back. I was shocked that 'anyone' can be that, vicious and could actually put on a front and tried to manipulate me.

BUT... hey, God is great. Things turned better. As a matter of fact, I have never seen my allies and close friends this happy before.

I am just glad that things are better now. We are more honest (I hope!) with each other and we are happier.

Nyeh nyeh... the jokes on you!

When it rains and there is nothing in the world you would like to do more but to lie down on your bed and sleep. I am on my bed, but I ain't sleeping!

This is the view outside of my bedroom window today at about 5 pm.

I know that it was a bit, well, askewed, but you would have to agree with me that the whole picture there, the gloom, the rain and the slippery cobbled sidewalks... well it's enough to make you snuggle to your pillows and pull up the covers on your face and producing some Zs.

As usual, I was not able to sleep off the wonderful rainy afternoon away.

I had to drive to the office for a while due to something that our client 'forgot' to tell us, jumped on two separate conference calls and emailed a bunch of people about the progress.

I was on the phone with my Mother who was asking me if I can come home just to dismantle the bed at home (My family is moving)  and I found out that no one in the family 'actually' know how to do it but me.

Yes, we do have two males in the family, in case you are wondering, and I am not one of them, unless of course I was born with a penis and a vajayjay, which I was evidently, not.

I just finished a Kenny Roger's lunch of roast chicken and I ate that while watching gorgeous Keanu and Al Pacino in the classic, 'Devil's Advocate'.

Before I came home and after I left the office, I hit one of the hypermarkets (Hence, the Kenny Rogers Combo). I ran out of milk for about 5 days now, so I decided to just drag my ass off to buy some.

Why on Monday? Why not on the weekends, you might ask.

Well, I hate shopping when there are too many people. It confuses me because it does.

I encountered someone who might just be the slowest, lamest cashier ever in my whole consumer life.

As usual, being Malaysian and all, the lame-O didn't smile. Heck, he was emotionless. His movement is akin to that of a sloth.

I wish I can smack him at the back of his head with the Australian top side beef cut that I bought at the wet produce section.

And the way, he put the things into the plastic bags (For the record, I have a shopping bag that I got from Body Shop with huge lettering making up 'Protect Your Planet' on it. I opted for plastic this time because, well, I forgot to stuff the cloth bag into my bag today and I need some plastic bags at home for trash) might make you mistake him for an ex 'Mak Yong' dancer. Such painfully slow gracefulness, really seriously make you want to put on make up on him and play the Gamelan.

Aaaanyway... Just my observation for today. Suffice to clear the cobwebs off the blog... :)

Happy Monday everyone!

What I found out on Halloween...

1) The fastest way to get your lips done when you forgot your lipstick is to kiss your girlfriend who has lippy on.

And yes... we did it out of practicality.

2) I should learn how to flirt with the club bouncer guy.

3) Clubs charge ridiculous cover charges on Halloween when all you want to drink is a coke and a beer.

4) Mojo do NOT have cover charge (Thank God!)

5) No one really dresses up on Halloween.

6) QBar sucks.

7) Tony Parson's My Favorite Wife is sold for RM 15 at Atria and Tolkien at RM 29.90.

8) If you can't drink... DON'T! --> This going out to the guy who hung his head out of the passenger seat... trying to puke at Jalan P. Ramlee.

9) An all girl night out is waay better than going out on a lame date.

10) I am hot.. Heh!

Yeah.. so shoot me.